I Remember Mama

1962

No one is ever going to write a biography of my mother. But someone should.

She was born far away in deep poverty. The last of seven children. There'd be a few chapters about her childhood.

She was living in a big Canadian city by the time she was eighteen. A few chapters about the trials of getting to the boat, travel in steerage and embarking at the immigration depot in Halifax.

Then married and moved into the depression era middle class before she was twenty-five. More chapters.  

Then four children. An interesting husband. Enduring sadness when her parents and siblings left behind died horribly during world war 2. More chapters.

While still in charge and capable, she hit the best notes a parent can sing. She was loving, generous, instructive and fair. A good model. And she went out of her way to make her children's lives better whether we were receptive or not. Here's an example.

For the summer of 1962 mum and I were living in a small house near Venice Beach in California. We were summering there to test out a possible move to California from Toronto. My dad had passed five years before and two of my sibs had made the move a year earlier. I was the youngest. 14 then.

I spent my days on Venice Beach or watching television. I was shy kid. I hadn't met and made any local friends. It wasn't hell for me. I liked to read. But, of course, I was lonely.

One day I was on the beach cultivating my own garden. Suddenly a tap on my shoulder. It was my mother and there were two girls standing behind her, about my age.

My mother explained that she had met the two girls nearby and suggested they might like to meet her son, soon to be a doctor.

I know my mum had engineered this for me. She knew I was lonely and wanted to help. It was surprising that the girls had gone along with the ruse. My mum was already elderly, in her fifties, and had a foreign accent. But she had a nice smile.

She left me alone with the girls. I had some experience talking talking to girls, once I met them. There was much to discuss. Where do you live? What is school like for you? What do you like to watch on television?

We split up to go home for dinner agreeing to meet again at 7.

But this is a story of my mum's success as a parent. While it doesn't always work out the job includes going the extra mile for your kids. And she showed me how.

March 2019