Engaging Trump. A Psychological Memoir

2016

In my earliest years up until grade five I was one of the popular kids. Lots of friends. Multiplication champ in grade three. Good at sports.

My dad died after grade four. I felt some shame and when we moved to a new neighborhood for grade six I made friends but I became a periphery guy.

That was my own shaky analysis. Never felt I totally belong.

I was the youngest of four and my parents were tired so I was usually fighting for attention with boundary behavior, being contrary and joking.

And my dad while he was alive was not one to spare the rod so I had fear instilled. One implication is when I put my foot in my mouth I fear that I'm going to be ostracized. Once it actually happened. You know what they say; “even hypochondriacs get sick”.

I had my first political thought around grade two. I became very angry at Harry Truman for firing General MacArthur. If he hadn't, MacArthur might have run the table on the Korean peninsula and maybe Red China. I don't recall where that piece of right wing conspiracy thinking came from but there it was. Grade two.

In grade six I was assigned to write the Castro takes Cuba article for our class newspaper. This was before we knew Castro was a communist and would murder two million innocents.  My article was two paragraphs assumed from the Toronto Telegram.

I got a lot of kudos for the article. That didn't attract me to journalism but it was a step on my road to being a political junky.

We moved to LA after grade 10 and I was slow to make friends. I was alone but not lonely. During that time in high school I was a magazine maniac. At one time I enjoyed 13 subscriptions; Time, Newsweek, Look, Life, National Review, a Soviet picture magazine and more.

You see these magazines supported what people said I was good at. Political reading filled my alone time with activity so I didn't feel lonely.

One time in grade 12 I was the only guy on a team with three popular girls in a poli sci class. My significant knowledge got us the class medal for facts. Not that it helped me with the ladies.

Another thing about my personality -I can't entirely grasp the reasoning - is that I generally root for the underdog. It may be the periphery guy thing. I seem to feel that I'm on the outside looking in and that the underdogs are my allies.

Thru undergraduate life in LA in the 60s I was knowledgeable about political stuff but I wasn't passionate. I went to anti war rallies but I wasn't angry like some people.

It wasn't that I saw both sides of the argument. It was that I saw that there were people on both sides and that one side seemed to be the righteous insiders and the other side were the less popular outsiders. If you're old enough think smooth and well spoken Bobby Kennedy vs. older less well known Eugene McCarthy. I gravitated to McCarthy. On the periphery like me.

Then through the seventies, eighties  and nineties I graduated and got married and had kids and built a career. I was busy. I kept my hand in by being a voracious reader of The Globe and Mail. I remember liking Crossfire on CNN when it was a singular left vs. right political program.

One more personality characteristic. I agonize buying a car. It’s important to me that the car I drive is a great choice but not a big seller. I want to appear discerning and smart with my major boy toy.

Fast forward to the 2004 election in the US. I was with about 10 men watching the results. I was the only one rooting for George Bush, the conservative Republican candidate, against John Kerry the liberal Democrat.

I had made a big change in the previous five years moving from neutral to being a committed conservative. This evolution had several aspects including beliefs about what is right and wrong in government and the tribal aspect of affiliating.

Conservative fits my personality. It’s a peripheral, sometimes contrarian view. It seeks to be a smart choice, like how I choose a car.

Thanks to the internet there is a wealth of news and conservative commentary available so I can fulfill my political junky passion.

So in 2015 when Trump came along I had been a conservative for a long time. I didn't really know much about him at first. I'm not a reality TV watcher and had not read his books. But the way he articulated his platform prescription was exactly my vision. I believe lower taxes are good and that many government regulations serve the interests of a small group to the detriment of the economy as a whole. 

I admit Trump is hard to gravitate to. His warts are public and his public posture is different for a president. He fights back against his critics. He relentlessly tells his truth. He pushes his policy with vigor and patience.

So what’s the attraction. What’s worth the sneers, the arguments and the lost friendships that come supporting an unpopular politician.

For me it’s attention to the bottom line. What is government for anyway. Is it to please the late nite talk show hosts who earn a living by being interesting and pointed.

Or is it economics, raising the standard of living for the disadvantaged.

For me it’s the latter.

Even CNN, no friend of Trump, makes it obvious that there’s been strong growth in the US economy. That's good for the poor in many ways.

So whatever the warts and boils, Donald Trump is the easy option for me. Remember what Bill Clinton campaigned on. It’s the Economy Stupid.

October 19, 2018

January 15, 2019